The Day Abbott Left, the Day P Duddy Came To Town
by ToriKisu
Summary: Remember: this is FOR SURE not true but hopfully will be funny in the end. written in my AP enviro class and more written in my Lab Aide hour. (i am aware this is getting kind of stupid.) chapters 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 up.
1. Abbott leaves

School had just started but marching band was already in session. "Band!!! SET!!!" the drum major yelled to the band on a Wednesday evening. The band was being lazy and not caring what the drum majors wanted them to do.

Very slowly, the band set and the director, Abbott, said, "you know that MSBOA festival is in a few weeks. I may be your new director but u need to respect me."

The band laid on the ground. They didn't care at all what the new band director had to say. They didn't want to be on that field and they didn't want to be holding their instruments.

Abbott threw his baton on the ground and his hands went up into the air. "That's it! I give up! You guys are useless! I wish I was back with my old band up near the U.P.!"

Abbott then walked off the field and got into his truck and took off.


	2. The New director

The band stood on the field; they had finally woken up. "Uh, where's Abbott?" a sax player asked.

The drum major said, "well, he left."

The confused band sat down on the ground and they heard a plane coming. A flute player stood up and said, "The plane!! The plane!! Look at the plane!"

The plane landed on the field and three people walked out.

One of the people had glasses and was holding a baton. He cleared his throat and said, "My name is Dudzinski. Call me P. Duddy or done call me anything. I am your new director and u must listen. Now band, Basics Block....GO!"


	3. The Baton

The band looked at the new guy. "YO! Dudzinski! What are you doing up in here?" asked a snare player, named Mike.

P. Duddy turned to the drummer and slowly walked over to him. "I said call me P. Duddy. That is my name and you MUST call me that! Leave, now!"

The drummer rolled his eyes. "Whatever, yo." And he turned to leave.

"Let that be a lesson to all of you. If you call me anything but my name, you will be kicked out of this band and you will never be seen again. Your drummer there," he said pointing at Mike, "you will never see him again."

P. Duddy pulled out a baton from his pocket and began conducting in a fast tempo. Mike's feet began walking at that tempo until he was out of sight.

"Oh, crap," said Duckie, the piccolo player.


	4. Duckie Fights With P Duddy

P. Duddy turned to Duckie and said, "Do you have a problem with how I run things?"

Duckie shook her head. "No, P. Duddy. I don't."

P. Duddy glared at her. "You play piccolo, right? Well I hate piccolos. They are too loud and the people who play them are annoying. They will never survive in my band."

Duckie looked offended. "You just met me!!! Me and Kendra, the OTHER piccolo player, are NOT annoying. And we WILL survive in this band. We are the best players. You cannot kick us out."

P. Duddy laugh. "You have argued with me. I like that someone can learn to stand up to me but, I'm sorry, you will have to pay." He pulled out his baton.


	5. Duckie Fights With P Duddy part 2

Duckie stepped up to P. Duddy. "I said you cannot kick us out."

P. Duddy lifted his baton in the air and began conducting. Duckie's feet began to mark time at his tempo.

Suddenly, he stopped conducting and Duckie stopped marking time. "You are right," he said to her. "I cannot kick you out. If I kicked out a piccolo played, then I would have no one to demonstrate being out of tune."

Duckie looked horrified. "And what do you mean by that?!"

"I mean," P. Duddy said as he laughed, "that if we have one picc player then you would never know if she was out of tune, but if we have two then we have issues and a nice demonstration of out of tuneness."

"Out of 'tuneness' is not even a word," Duckie said getting closer to P. Duddy.

"You are correct. Now fall into the rest of the block. I don't want to HAVE to kick you out."


	6. I'd Rather Rip Out my Eyes

Duckie then shrugged her shoulders. "What ever. I said you cannot kick me out." She walked over to the rest of the block and got in her spot.

Alisa, a clarinet player, leaned over to Duckie and asked her why she thinks she can stay in this band even if P. Duddy wants her out.

"The reason is easy. He needs me here."

"But if this Duzinski guy wants you out, you know you're leaving," Alisa said.

"Really?" Duckie said smiling. "P. Duddy! Could you come here?"

P. Duddy came over. "What do you want Duckie?"

"Alisa called you something other than P. Duddy."

"She did?"

"Yes."

P. Duddy pulled out his baton and began conducting. "I strangely believe you."

"I'm going to get you for this, Duckie," Alisa said as she marched away.

"I'm never going to see you again!" Duckie called after her.

"Thank you, Duckie. I hate people calling me by my full name. It makes me so mad," P. Duddy said.

"I can tell."

"I would rather rip out my eyes then have people call me 'Dudzinski'."

"That's great."

P. Duddy smiled at Duckie as he walked away because one of the drum majors called him over.

_He doesn't seam all that bad, _Duckie thought.


	7. Three Hours Later

The band finished basics block, three hours later. P. Duddy climbed into the scaffolding and said to the band, "Band. Complete run through of the show!"  
  
The drum major looked in disbelief at P. Duddy. "We haven't even been here for a week! We just got the music and I doubt that anyone has played thorugh the third tune all the way!"  
  
P. Duddy pulled out his baton. "Are you disobeying me?"  
  
"NO! No! No! I'm sorry! Please don't get rid of me!" she yelled.  
  
He put the baton away. "Then we are going to do a complete rin through. Now."  
  
The Drum major gulped and told the band to set.  



	8. The Poor Poor Band

"Mark time, mark!" she yelled.

The band nervously began a run through. They looked like ants on an anthill. The band was doing some confused moves. Some people did eight count holds while others marched 16 feet in 8 counts.

Only one person was able to play through the whole music. A trumpet player, named Jaque, already had the whole show music memorized. He knew when to stop so the whole band followed his moves.

When everyone was done wondering around the field, P. Duddy picked up his baton. "You guys are useless! You can't even march! Arrg! That dang Abbott left me a crap band!"

P. Duddy jumped down from the scaffolding and took off toward the school.

"You get your butt back here, P. Duddy!" a trombone player yelled. "We have never even seen this show before and you expect us to know it right away! We just got the music and we are a very lethargic band and so you know, we are NOT CRAP! You apologize right now!"

P. Duddy turned around and looked at the trombone player. "Bye, bye!" he said and began to conduct.


	9. The History Teacher

The next week only a quarter of the band was left. Of those who were left, every single person was scared out of their wits of P. Duddy, but no one showed it.

People did not want to be in band but were too scared to quit; they wanted to see how the end of the year ended.

Duckie was in the hallway of their school, walking from her first hour to her band class when she saw P. Duddy in the hallway. He had his trusted baton out and was making people mpve out of his way so he could get to the band room faster.

Duckie wanted to say something but she was too afraid she was going to get kicked out.

She hid in a door way watching the helpless victims move their feet unwillingly. All of a sudden, out of the class room next to the band room came a teacher. He was really tall, had glasses, taught history, and his wife was an English teacher.

"What do you think you're doing there, P. Duddy?" the history teacher asked.

"Making people move? You wanna be next?" P. Duddy said pulling out his baton and conducting.


	10. Duckie Saves a Life

Duckie jumped out from her hiding spot. "No P. Duddy! You can't hurt him! He's my favorite teacher's husband!"

P. Duddy turned around and pointed the baton at Duckie. "You're kidding me, right?" he said.

"No," she said.

"Ok, just this once, will I not hurt a human being because you said so." P. Duddy went into the band room leaving the history teacher alone.

"Thank you Duckie," he said and went back into his classroom.

Duckie was relieved that she saved someone's life. She went into the bandroom and saw a lot of the band members covering their heads and hiding in corners. She looked up and saw P. Duddy on a flying quad head. Lightning was flashing all over the band room.


	11. There's a Spell on me

Duckie's eyes opened. She had been dreaming about P. Duddy flying in the band room. She looked around her room and saw that she was in her dorm room at band camp. In the bed next to her was Shelb.

"Shelb?" Duckie asked.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Where are we?"

"Band camp."

"How long have we been here?"

"Two days."

"And where was I?"

"Here. You were kinda out of it the last couple days."

"The last thing I remember is saving the life of a teacher."

"Yeah. That's about when you started going crazy. It's like you had a spell on you."

"I think I did and I think I know who put it there."


	12. You Survived

Duckie got up and went out into the hallway. People were bustling around getting ready for the morning practice. So many people had left the band that everyone fit on one floor. The girls were at one end and the boys at another. There were band moms and dads all over the place.

Kendra came up to Duckie and said, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah. I concluded that I had a spell put on me. I just woke up from it today. A few minutes ago."

"Good. You were beginning to scare me."

Twenty minutes later the band was outside on the field laying down in their lethargic way that they did things. As soon as P. Duddy came out they all jumped up and went to attention.

P. Duddy came onto the field and said, "I really have you guys trained. Congratulations."

Someone from the trumpet section yelled, "Congratulations on what, P. Duddy?"

"Surviving band camp."


	13. Another Goes

"Surviving band camp? We have only been here a couple of days!" that same trumpet player said.

"Oh yeah. My mistake," P. Duddy said slapping his head. "Basics block now!"

the band got into basics block and they did, um, basics. While they were doing 8's and 4's backwards, there was a slight collision in the saxophone section.

"AHH!" P. Duddy yelled. "My band! It's broken!" The saxophone section got up and went back to attention. "Who caused this mess?"

A freshman raised her hand. "I did."

P. Duddy pulled out his wand and started conducting.


End file.
